Happy Daddy Day

With emotional rollercoasting crying over anything, Martin handled it by sympathising or ignoring it (haha but it worked). He would be cornered to the side of the bed as the pregnancy pillow took over. He had to deal with all my dribble on his clothes as I fell asleep anywhere when I was too tired. He would relunctantly (maybe they smelled?) tie my trainers laces or put my shoes on as I couldn’t bend down easily for every outing. Even putting the pregnancy belt round me or helping me squeeze into clothing that I refused to be too small for me. Loving me and my bump whilst it grew to a melon size. Teasing me as I walked like a penguin at the pace of a snail. Forced to carry anything heavy from my bag or taking the bin outside . Dealing with my tantrums when I felt inadequate about anything. Cooking mountains of dishes as I was a pig (and still am). Chauffeured where ever I needed to as I couldn’t drive well. Reading and talking to Bump lentil everyday. Forced to give me back rubs and stroke my skin as everything hurts. Being my 999 support aid 24/7 when I needed him.

Tackling those moments from the moment Joshua was pushing to get out into this world. Martin had sleepless nights like any new dad. (He seems to now sleep through easily – lucky him!!) He would be the target of Joshua’s urine fountain (Always puts a smile to my face when this happens). I would save the mahoosive yellow poo nappies for him (Ahahahaha) . Martin knows how to calm Joshua till he falls asleep with him for a nap. Horse games and sing alongs to entertain Joshua throughout the week. Carrier and pramming anywhere. Funny noises or great stories shared to Joshua. Even calming and reassuring  Joshua whilst he manically  craves for food (like his mummy). All of this whilst working, cleaning and meeting my demands (which is never ending), along with my bitchiness.

He’s been the best partner to me and an amazing dad to Joshua.





For the Mummy To Be

For the Mummy to Be and all Mummies;

Who have yearned for her own family,

Repeatedly tried for a baby,

Bared a lost through pregnancy

Stands alone during the 9 months

Tasted the morning sickness

Cashed out on expandable clothes

Struggled with their wrists

Unmoveable and stiff pelvis

Aching backs

Big and sensitive breasts

Momentarily loses her sense

Uses panty liners consistently

Or even has bladder incontinence

Big feet syndrome

Bruised internally due to being a punching bag

Moves at a snail’s pace

Wobbling down the road

Emotionally retarded

Not oneself

Gulping for air

Night slowly disappearing as the day becomes one

Branches of veins growing

Or skin being pulled in all directions

Scheduled doctor’s appointments

Needles penetrating the skin

Routine vitamins

Crazy healthy eating

Squeezing into spaces that just doesn’t work

Instructing people to move out the way

Dreaded panicky incidents

Uncomfortable hospital beds

Magnitude of contractions

Waters breaking

Fears accumulating

Giving birth to new life


There may be hardship to get to the next stage of mummyhood but trying the upmost is all that matters. No need to follow others, just do what you feel is right. What waits down the line is a new world but a unique and amazing one. For those experiencing the magical moments with their little ones, I have so much respect for you!

All of above is worth it whether you experience a few or all. Here’ the first month of my little man.














Welcome Joshua

The morning started with my midwife check-up.  I had all the usual checks; urine sample, blood pressure and measurement of belly.  I was then told Bump Lentil was still not engaged but at least he was head down (He better be as my belly feels so much heavier and uncomfortable!)  My parents visit that afternoon and i was looking forward to the massage my Mama gives me on my back and arms, since the last few weeks.  In the evening, Martin runs a hot bubble bath.  I’m usually a shower type person, but this felt so warming and relaxing.  My senses and body take a welcome break in the hot water surrounding me. Afterwards I check my belly – I’ve never really notice the spider veins under my belly.  That’s because I don’t have eyes down there!  I only noticed them on my sides.  To end our night, Martin and I usually read the Day by Day Pregnancy Book, so that we can understand what is happening to Bump and to me.  Also so that bump can hear and be familiar with our voices. Usually we have to catch up a couple of days.  I have been adamant to try and get ahead, especially because of the scare a few weeks ago.  (Also that I made a bet with him that Lentil would arrive this week so wanted to know anything further ie like Labour procedures. As I get comfortable (at least try to) a trickle of liquid runs by leg.  I momentarily think quietly.  Could this be my waters breaking?  Or has my lack of pelvic exercises led to urinary incontinence?  How am I meant to tell Martin as a grown adult I’ve just peed the bed, irrespective if it’s a symptom of pregnancy? I should have bought one of those waterproof covers for the mattress!  I turn to Martin, disrupting his reading and indicated I’ve have to check what the watery substance is and head to my best friend, the toilet.  It has seen me oh so many times today and throughout my pregnancy.

Spider veins underneath belly

Spider veins underneath belly

The Bet

The Bet

My knickers fall between my feet to the floor whilst I figure out what is happening whilst my bottom is parked on the toilet seat.  Possibly a good 3-4 minutes later I shout to Martin that I’m sure it’s my waters breaking.  Kind of disappointed it’s not like the stories you hear where it’s a gush of water.  It slowly continues.  I do question myself, maybe it’s just a prolonged pee! Whilst I sit on the loo, I get Martin to call the maternity ward.   They advise to put wear a sanitary towel for an hour, with legs raised and analyse at the end if it is completely soaked.  So that’s what I did! It blatantly was 10minutes later but I continued to raise my feet. Panicking deep down, I ask Martin to check my hospital bag/repack it all.   I panic about the unknown, the uncertainty of it all but recall happy thoughts equals oxytocin, to help aid the labour process. We call the Maternity Ward again and after that call we are on the way to the hospital.  The journey there leads me so many worries.  Firstly, why are we not relaxing at home like NCT advised before the labour progresses?  Is this it – I haven’t been educated yet on the whole labour process!  Am I really ready? Will I be a good mum?  How do I change a nappy!? How is Martin feeling? I look at Martin whom radiates a cool calm exterior.  At least he’s not making me panic!

I advise the midwives as per my notes on my phone the time the water started etc.  They check my sanitry towel, something I am so familiar with now.  As usual a urine sample, blood sample, blood pressure is taken along.  Lentils heart beat is monitored again and so are my contractions.  Turns out I am not even experiencing miniscule contractions yet. They explain that as the waters broke prior to contractions, that I and Lentil is prone to an infection, especially that I am slightly early to full term at 36 weeks and 2 days.  They also wanted to induce labour but were happy for me to wait 24 hours in case it would happen naturally.  Whilst I impatiently waited I had to have antibiotics.

Notes of waters breaking

Notes of waters breaking

The other pregnant ladies in the same room were being induced with the pessary.  One of them had severe contractions but not strong enough, and the other nothing.  Whilst they were more likely to meet their little munchkins soon, the midwives constantly checked on me and bump.  Not to mention my waters were also looked at.  Who knew that waters would still carry on dripping?!  I had some show and plug where the water had light pink discharge and blood.  That did scare the hell out of me, but this was all normal.  Lentil was being stubborn and did not want to show himself at all.  On Friday 1st April, the midwives sent me to the delivery ward for an induction.  I didn’t understand why they were sending me first than the other ladies but I’m not going to complain.

At 12pm, Helen, the midwife that was going to assist me during labour introduced herself. She was from Bogna Regis, catering for cover as Epsom had been quite busy.  She was so friendly and helpful with such a delicate voice. Before inducing me with the pessary she wanted to do an internal check.  Her gloves went on and her fingers inside my vagina.  It was a bit uncomfortable but to my astonishment I was already 2cm dilated. I thought I am meant to feel pain/contractions here? So instead of the pessary she gave me the drip.  This would also do a 2 in 1 job so the antibiotics could still be given.  Disappointed that the Birth Centre was in a faraway land, the midwife tried to make the experience as easy as possible.  I wasn’t stuck to the bed and could use the birthing ball, but had to be careful as the drip and monitoring equipment was attached to me.  Whatever the hormone was in the drip, it started to get the contractions to rear its ugly head, eventually.  With each contraction I would breathe in and out whilst my butt was on the ball.  Martin would pour some water or cranberry juice into a plastic cup for me to drink with a straw, along with feeding me snacks.  He would assist my granny liken symptons, as I would be walking slow to the toilet with all the attachments. I had also asked Martin to inform my parents, but knew that they wouldn’t understand his accent.  So he kept my cousins in the loop to tell them.  As it’s April 1st, they did think it was a joke being April fools day!

The contractions got slightly more intense the more the hormone was increased but unfortunately it was big contractions but far apart, rather than close together.  She then reduced it, and hours later they were close together.  Don’t hate me but it wasn’t that bad – I just kept breathing at each contraction to reduce the pain.  Agony wanted to say hello later when my back felt like a house fell on top of me.  I tried bending down on the floor whilst resting my upper body over the ball but that did nothing to help.  Now – I needed something to release the pain away from my back.  The midwife gave paracetamol but it was so useless – it just made me tired. At this point I order Martin to massage my back. I stumbled onto the bed and the midwife checked how far dilated I was.  She was expecting about 3-4cm but I was 6cm.  Hurrah!  At this point – the gas and air was given to me. It took a while to kick in but I loved it.  It was a great high feeling.  I only remember a few parts of this whole process – that being me begging for the epidural – which was too late by the time the anesthetist came as I was 9cm!

Here is everything I remember saying among all the screaming:

“Does this mean I have to do this on gas and air?!!”.

“I hate you Martin”

“I love you Martin”

“Why are you taking away the gas?”

“Don’t take away the gas.  How can you do that to me?”

“I’m pushing!”

“How am I meant to be pushing?”

“You have the baby then!”

“I want to push!”

“I need to push!”

“I can’t do this”

“Can’t you get forceps?”

“Have I pooed? “

“Pull him out!”

“I can only hear you now Martin, and no-one else.”

“How do I know when a contraction comes for me to push?”

“I’ve got a cramp!  Massage my leg!”

The midwifes shift finished at this point and a new one replaced her.  Worst moment ever!!  I recall the midwife saying to push as if I’m doing a poo!  Ahahahaha.  That must have been great to hear from Martins ears. My first push – actually did not make a dent.  Apparently I was too high to actually push.  I also got told off for screaming too much.  Let me freaking scream woman.  It’s a killer! Once I figured out the pushing which freaking cains like a bitch – I could feel him entering our world. I could obviously feel my vagina being stretched and felt like pushing when I wasn’t meant to but didn’t.  I wanted him out as he was taking all the energy from me to push any more. It is excruciating pain every time he slides further.  How second time mothers wish to go through this again is beyond me!  I get that it shows the things we would do for our children – but really – this painful!? There was no way I could carry on any longer but somehow I found all that power to do so. Martin had explained that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice, and that he looked purple. On my birth plan Martin was supposed to cut the chord however the midwives had to react quickly to untie the chord.  The midwives did all they can urgently to make our baby at ease. My placenta came out as well after they pressed on my tummy.  That was totally awkward.  Did Martin see that?  What ugliness comes out!  People really eat that? WTF! Eventually soon after, with no stitches required, I get to hold Joshua James Southam in my arms on my chest with Martin beside me. I could not have done this without Martin as he was a great birth partner who provided all the support and encouragement I needed. (Awesome Martin, thank you) The 9 month  pregnancy of crappy symptoms and the hell of labour, as everyone says was all worth it in the end.    April 1st 2016, Martin and I welcome Joshua James Southam into this world, at 20:44, weighing 7lbs.





A Taste Of What Is Due To Happen

It is the second week of March, and we are celebrating Mama Alicia’s birthday at her house.  All the family is there or due to arrive.  For the last hour my bottom was firmly on top of the couch, cosy, watching TV.  We are called to the table to a feast of food to celebrate.  Oh, how delicious it looks.  I head upstairs to use the toilet facilities and the next thing I know I am panicking, urging Monica to come towards me.  Like the initial part of my pregnancy, my knickers were drenched in blood.  If it is fresh blood and a significant amount then you need to be seen urgently if after 12 weeks of pregnancy.  I was 33 committed weeks into my pregnancy.  What on earth was happening?   Is Bump Lentil O.K?  Monica calmed me down to the point I somehow forced a little giggle (no clue what we ended up talking about) but on the other hand Mama Alicia was now panicking, in replacement.

Martin and I rushed to hospital, the closest being St Georges Hospital.  We had opted for Epsom Hospital but that was at least 30 minutes away. Martin escorted me to the A & E – a strange system where you do not report to reception but wait until a nurse sees you.  As there is no ticketing schedule or any type of organisation in place, anyone could have been seen first, no matter how severe or non-severe an injury could be.  Our impatience propagated and so did other patients.  After calling Gary’s partner, Heather, a midwife in Cumbria she advised to head to the maternity unit.  She also mentioned that the bleeding could be an indication of the placenta separating from the wall of the uterus before the baby is born. At this point, I am sure a surge of hormones are being produced, increasing my blood pressure.

“Can I have your pregnancy notes?” is the first question the midwife says when we arrive at the maternity ward.  My heart must have skipped a beat.  Idiotic me did not have them.  Stupid, I know – this was the first time I did not carry them!  Of all the times, why did I not have them with me!!!!!! I give them all I know as they ask all the questions.  “How many weeks are you? When is your due date?  Position of placenta? Blood type? Have you had bleeding previously?  Explained what happened today.” I answer all of these with ease eagerly waiting for them to tell me what is happening to Bump or myself.  Bleeding within the third trimester can be caused by sex, exercise, internal exams, infections, but these were all ruled out. My blood pressure was taken which was slightly raised than normal. My pads/knickers were checked of which they agreed it was a lot. An internal check was carried out. An electronic fetal monitor was used to record my bumps heartbeat and any contractions for continuous monitoring.  Two transducers are placed on belly with a belt.  Whilst the results were being recorded, the midwife would check them every spare moment they had.  Strangely they would also ask if I was experiencing any pain.  In response to this, which I found weird was no.  It turns out an hour or two later, the EFM was picking up contractions.  The results were inconclusive.  The midwives and doctors could not determine why I was bleeding, let alone having contractions that I could not feel.  Due to this, I was immediately sent to the delivery ward.  This started to feel surreal.  Martin was sent home to pick up the pregnancy notes and pack the hospital bag.


The dreaded hospital gown and the green compression stockings appeared to my disgust.  After putting these on it was explained that I could be having Lentil prematurely and that I needed to be observed further.  They needed to do all the precautions in case he wanted to see Martin and I early.  Two steroid injections were required – not by the arm but on the bum cheek.  They are painful, worse than blood tests! My bum cheeks were uncomfortable! As I was not full term in the pregnancy, the steroids were to help his lungs mature. (He’s going to be a superhero).  A intravenous was placed on my left hand ready if bump wanted to make his way through to our world.  That just became uncomfortable – the amount of times I accidentally rubbed it against something! My sanitary pads were constantly checked as well.  Waiting to see what would occur next, I rested.  When at night, hearing a lady use her tonsils to the best of her ability was scary but yet thrilling. I was treated very well – midwives and specialists explained everything.  Anesthetist and pediatrics visited to explain procedures and answer any questions I had.  After a day, the bleeding reduced but the contractions were still detectable.  They decided to move me to the maternity ward as the lack of bleeding reduced the probability of labour.  We were in the hospital for 4 days but unfortunately no-one could advise why the bleeding occurred.  Bump was healthy – however I was slightly disappointed as was looking forward to seeing him early.



Do It Yourself Bump Shoot

Here’s our DIY Bump Shoot a few weeks ago.

The use of a selfie stick, selfies, ourselves, a timer and some friends made this a fun photoshoot. We were lucky it was a beautiful day at Polesdon Lacey. What made me laugh was Martin was adamant he would not do lovey dovey kiss photos. Oh well. I can’t wait to put some of these on our wall!


welcome to the womb

Window to the Womb 3D Scan

welcome to the womb

It’s very rare to see a new born that is immediately cute (Of course this is not including your own little bundle of joy).  After travelling down the birth canal, and being squashed through parts of the pelvis, can you blame them?   Using forceps or ventouse for an assisted delivery can contribute to the head shape deformity momentarily.   Not forgetting that babies have been surrounded by amniotic fluid for the last nine months.  Imagine yourself being in a pool just for a few hours – you’ll come up wrinkly similar to an oldie.   

In spite of this, I still had the curiosity to see what Bump Lentil could look like with a 3D scan.  With this piece of technology it was also a reassurance that he was OK.  For those that have low risk pregnancies normally only 2 ultrasounds are given. So clicking away on Groupon app, I opted for the Window to the Womb – VIB baby scan package.  This included 39% discount of the original price of £130.00.  The package derived of 10 minute scan with well-being check, size 6”x4” prints, two 8”x6” prints, two keyrings, USB of all images and scan capturing the baby’s movement.

Window to the Womb  staff were very approachable and friendly.  After all it is a special moment within pregnancy.  All the sonographers are trained and qualified and do their up most to try and get the best pose of your baby.  This is anything from taking a walk, pressing slightly on belly, massaging the belly, having sugar snacks/cold drinks and doing a little jiggle.  Bump Lentil did not want to play ball, and instead liked hiding his face.  To keep him amused in my belly he constantly played with my umbilical cord – no wonder I get random pains!  Showing off, he would then brush his feet against his face.  I’m very impressed he knows how to entertain himself.  This really opened my eyes to what was growing inside me and absolutely loved it! Martin could also see all of this too!  We weren’t ascertain about the pictures taken so we were offered another chance to visit free of charge.  The second time round he was being even cheekier and not even divulging a glimpse or any section of his face, but wanted to show his balls!  We therefore selected photos from the original session and to be honest I loved them.  Now all that is left pondering my mind is will he look similar when he’s in this world.


Window to the Womb 3D Scan - Chubby Face

Chubby Face


Window To The Womb 3D Scan

Window To The Womb 3D Scan – Baby Lentil so cute

Window to the Womb 3D Scan - Little Hand

Little Hand

Window to the Womb 3D Scan - Footprint




A Baby Shower designed for me

The day arrived where the effort of my organisers Louella, Monica and Shireen worked together to comprise a fun filled beautiful baby shower.  They took control and everything was a surprise – something that is so hard for me to do as I am normally the organiser. Arriving at the venue with Martin, firstly I was bewildered that the place exists, The Trafalgar Arms pub   in Tooting. I remember it looking tacky and old – but now it was refurbished with a front garden and shelter.

Then as we walked in we were taken to Smith Bar, there was a table that had beautifully presented name tags and food orders.

Name tags for baby shower

Name tags for baby shower

As I got further inside, where the guests were waiting, I let loose some tears.  Oh no – the emotional pregnant me is coming out again!  As I made my way talking to all my friends and family – it just felt so overwhelming. I couldn’t believe that a lot of them came – some I haven’t seen for years and some that haven’t seen me or the bump.  Yet they mean the world to me! A small glimpse later, I notice a table of red velvet cupcakes – one of my favourite flavours and cute macaroons!  Next to them was a wishing jar and nappy cakes!  All the great detail was fantastic!

After everyone had arrived the Smith Bar had sliding doors that opened up to another room!  That was not suspected at all! As I walked through to the Sullivan Room I immediately see a laptop connected to the tv – where a slide show of photos and all the guests are presented.  I could not take my eye of them – some photos I have never seen, all with cringe worthy moments or happy times! Then underneath was a magnitude of gift bags!  Bugger that was a lot!  Then the tables were laid out scattered with cute confetti, a framed poem and Baby Bingo cards!  The walls had baby bunting and tissue paper balls.  Oh, how loved and adored everything!

We ate – and boy was the food good!

Full of laughter were these well-presented games.  However losers were penalised with a splat of Elvis urine!  Haha!

Baby Big cards – game players needed to hit a match of words on a line and 2 winners would receive a gift.

Guess tummy size – game players had some string to guess my belly size!  Offensive guesses and some complimenting guesses – lol!

Guess Tummy Size

Guess Tummy Size

Guess what is in the bag – game players picked had to guess what was in the bag and if they guessed correctly I would win the item!

Guess whats in the bag

Guess whats in the bag

Eat the rusks – The quickest player to eat 2 rusks wins!  This was too funny just seeing guests stuffing their face.

Eat the rusks

Eat the rusks

Drink the milk – Who could suck milk out of a bottle the quickest!  Wow – these ladies are good at sucking!

Drink the milk

Drink the milk

Guess the baby food – taste unnamed baby food! This was a eye opener – I didn’t like any of the flavours.

Guess the baby food

Guess the baby food

Put the nappy on – Wrap tissue around as many guests as you can.

Build the nappy cake – quickest team to build a nappy cake!

Build the nappy cake

Build the nappy cake

Overall, I cannot thank the organisers so much for this amazing baby shower and all the guests who really participated in everything thrown at them.  It was moments of happy tears, and the best moments with people I loved. Thank you to all of my dearest!




Team Blue Nursery

We have started to put the nursery together.  My ideas previously were a mixture of colours, wallpaper and paint.  Maybe a bit too extreme for Martin, we toned them down to a Pixar blue theme, with sheep prints.  Here’s a quick video of Martin assembling the changing unit. Well done Martin! (Just practicing with Go Pro editing so bare with me!)

The walls was painted by Martin with Delux Sapphire Spring 3.  I hated the smell but loved the sky colour.  The changing unit was by Mothercare Lulworth designed with a white finish and a oak top.  Accompanying this is a matching Mothercare Lulworth cot bed with 3 position mattress base.  That will save on the money!  Didn’t see the point of the wardrobe as they tend to be smaller than adult wardrobes.  Martin repainted the wardrobe that was in use and the bedside table to white to all match 🙂

Mothercare Lulworth Changing Unit

Mothercare Lulworth Changing Unit

It took us ages to find matching designs for curtains, bedding, etc.  We stumbled upon PreciousLittleOne where Silver Cloud matching accessories where everywhere!  Curtains, changing mats, sleeping bag, uplighter, cot mobile, and bedding!  They are adorable print with sheep and stars.  Suitable for unisex.


Silver Cloud Counting Sheep Curtains

Silver Cloud Counting Sheep Curtains

I haven’t organised anything yet inside the changing unit and wardrobe but that is my next mission!


Announcing our Baby Lentil

A barmaid approaches Gary handing him an envelope without his name on it.  Gary refuses, indicating the envelope does not belong to him.  The barmaid presses on addressing the situation that it fell out of his pocket.  He hesitantly opens the envelope and reveals a baby scan.  A bit confused, he reads the message and then has to put his glasses on to double check.  He turns to Martin and I, shockingly and happily.  This was our fun way of telling Gary, Martins dad he is going to be a grandpa.  He shared the news with his partner, Heather.  I have never seen Gary skip with joyful side kick!

A Skype Video call is about to occur with Pauline, Martins mum.  The first thing she will see is the baby scan pushed against the phone.  A tear trickles out from Pauline’s eyes.  She is ecstatic about the breaking news.  Martin then explains everything we have gone through, and what stage we are at.  A relief brushes across me, knowing that both families welcome the news.

Quite early on, I tell my boss – and being in an uncontrollable state, I cry.  Crazy hormones!  The rest of work finds out later when I was ready to put the Baby on Board badge.  Some didn’t notice, and even with a little noticeable bump, some realised much later.  They just thought I was getting a bit fat and didn’t want to offend me if I was pregnant.  Haha.

The easiest way of sharing the news with our friends, was Martin posting a comment on facebook which made me giggle.

Announcing on Facebook

Announcing on Facebook

It’ll be lovely to hear from you on how you told others?

my little home box

My Little Home Box – My Little Box

The February box has arrived early than usual. I was expecting the theme to be based on amour due to Valentines Day, however surprisingly it was based on home. Quite rightly suits what I have been doing lately, as I have been nesting the last month or so.

Kanako this time rounds sticks to a cool colouring system, of greys, blues and peach. The box itself has one of her typical drawings, with a female relaxing on a chair reading a magazine. The magazine publishes about interior design, top deco pics, deco e-shop made, and a diy hanging plant holder.

my little home box

Digging into the box like a little child, I find a sky blue A5 picture frame, with Kanako’s artwork. Totally chuffed about this as it would suit the nursery Martin and I are decorating.

my little home box

Accompanying the home theme is a reversible cushion cover, which I was so excited about. I attempted to put a cushion filling in but, the cover was a little too small. I’m sure I will post a picture later once I got the right size, where it will sit nicely in the nursery room.

my little home box

The little bag has repetitive prints of lipstick. I always end up using these bags for sorting out toiletries or carrying money. They always come to good use! Inside them contains 3 beauty products which I am introduced to. The noxidoxi mask & peel scrub – can’t wait to use this just to feel refreshed and pretty once I get some me time! My Little Beauty features Easy Morning, a skin perfecting cream, a moisturiser that nourishes, brightens and evens out complexions. Inspired by the countryside is a shea butter body cream, Mitchell and Peach’s English Leaf. Smells divine!

my little home box

Happy with this box again, as I know I’ll use everything in the box!

For more information visit My Little Box website